I’m not alone

Hi all today I’m taking a different approach not doing a fashion blog because instead I’m going to use my blog to help me express myself I need to get some things off my chest about whats going on with me. Now  no one may actually care and that’s fine with me I’m not writing this for attention I’m writing this to release the build up in my head.

 I’m adopted and I have always known I was adopted it was never kept a secret from my brother and I as we were slightly older when we were adopted together I was 3 1/2 and he was 1 1/2 I’m 36 1/2 now and just recently (as in Sunday night) decided to make contact with my biological mother. I have known her name for a few years but have never really thought about it so it came as a shock to me that all of a sudden I had made that decision and it was clear in my mind that I would start the process….so not thinking it would do anything I put her name and state into google and no joke Bam!! right there was a link to a fb page…..go to link have a look and Woah!!….right there in front of me was a profile picture of a lady that looked exactly like me. 

It can’t be that simple right….so I take a closer look a few more pictures and my head is spinning….there she was not more than 2 hours away from me….its 2 am I can’t sleep and I have to be awake in a few hours for a full day at work ugh.

With very little sleep under my belt I wake and turn to the one person who will always be there for me my rock to lean on my hubby….I tell him all I found and I can tell its a shock to him too because we talk about everything and this wasn’t something I had mentioned in a long long time.

“Are you okay? What can I do to help!”

I love this man he’s able to calm me down and get me to work so I can do my job in a few words and it’s the longest day I have ever worked and my mind races all day with what to do with this information. First things first I go sit with my brother and fill him in because I ain’t doing anything unless I have his go ahead as well we are and always will be in this together. After a few mins talking and looking at her page he says “Okay so you going to message her?” 

Message her….Oh crap I have no idea what to say but I some how manage to do it and now we wait and see. I don’t want to get my hopes up its been a few days now but then she may not be active on fb or she may be freaking out but at least I have taken a step and it feels good to get it all out in the open.

I love my family and my friends they are being so awesome with all of this being so supportive of our feelings and our crazy mood swings that come with doing something so big.

But a huge special lovey huggy thanks to my everything of a husband who seriously gets me in all my silliness who loves me unconditionally this man needs a medal with the stuff he’s had to put up with  but he’s there and always will be there really is no way I would have even done this is I didn’t know he was going to be right there beside me.

I want to thank you all for listening to my rant I appreciate it.



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